¶ Jesus Christ
Jesus H. Christ is the son of God and one of the residents of Quahog.
¶ Spawn Locations
| Living Room | Kitchen | Chris' Room | Stewie's Room | Outside | Pharmacy | Hospital | Mini-Mart | Drunken Clam | News studio | Courtroom | Comedy Club | Heaven |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| No | No | No | No | Yes | Yes | No | No | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes |
¶ Appearance
Jesus has a mustache and a beard, with long brown hair. He wears a long, white robe and sandals. After 3/29/2024 he became perpetually T-posed.
¶ Personality
Jesus is often portrayed as a forgiving and religious figure.
Jesus has several abilities, such as the ability to perform miracles, turn water into wine, walk on water and being invulnerable to car hits, along with Death.
Jesus was presumably born on December 25th, 0000, making him the second oldest character on the stream after Death.
¶ Relationships
Jesus and God's relationship is somewhat unstable, with Jesus often complaining about how irresponsible and idiotic his dad is.
Jesus is the father of almost every character on the stream, which is why he calls them his children.
Jesus has a rivalry with Death, as they are both spiritual figures. They often get into fights or arguments.
Jesus is married to Consuela [clip]
¶ Lore
- Likes to read out the bible while jerking off.
- Jesus wrote the best-seller book “The Bible”, as well as “The Bible 2”. He has also created his streaming service known as “Jesusflix”. [clip]
- Has a 99% chance of mentioning that he can turn water into wine
- Announced that the Old Testament was not canon to the Bible Cinematic Universe
- Wrote ‘The Bible 2’
- His full name is “Jesus Howard Christ”. He's named after Howard Stern. [clip] [clip]
- Once skipped church to go to a rock concert [clip]
- Lois is his mom [clip]
- According to Carter, Jesus is a Mexican carpenter [clip]
¶ Notable Quotes
- Bless you
